“Paradise lies at the feet of the mothers.”
-Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)
I’ve heard this phrase a million times since becoming a Muslim, sadly because men are depicted as oppressors in Islam by the Western media and women their property. Being educated and aware of reality we know this to be false. Still we are forced to whip this out and throw in how the mother is honored three times more than the father to solidify the prestigious position women hold in Islam. But this saying is so much more than a defense and recently I began thinking about it in a different context because motherhood has been on my mind lately for reasons other than my two wonderful children…wink, wink.
As I lay next to my daughter at night and pat her to sleep or sing a lullaby to steady her breathing, a smile settles on my lips and contentment swells from my heart, diffusing throughout the rest of my body. This is life. The way she curls into me and is soothed by my presence. This is paradise. Or as I am able to finally lay down when my son has wrestled himself to sleep (as he literally does and no amount of patting or singing can suffice!) and am lulled into a soporific state by his steady rythym, subhanallah, is there a sweeter sound? It seems crazy and if you’re not a parent it may be difficult to grasp, but the simple fact of their existence fills you with a primal contentment.
Yes, paradise may lay at the foot of the mothers for many of the zillion reasons it should: An expectant mother gets fat, hot, has to pee like it’s her job, is tired all the time and is expected to give up caffeine (oh the cruelty), watch what she eats and is put through labor pains which are supposedly the equivalent of having 20 bones being crushed at once. But holding that little being in your arms for the first time is paradise. Then there is the after: the midnight feedings, the diaper changing, the running around to calm a gassy infant, the constant attention and care of repeating the alphabet or numbers and those nursery rhymes you couldn’t forget even if you developed alzheimers! Not to mention the constant cleaning up and mitigation of disastorous messes. But hearing your one year old sing the alphabet out correctly or having your two year old initiate the”cleanup song” is priceless.
Over the years I’ve come to appreciate this phrase for its richer meaning: paradise is at your feet as a mother, not just figuratively, but literally. Subhanallah it is such a blessing to be entrusted with the care of a soul sent straight from heaven and such a fulfilling experience to guide them along their path. It is one of the many things I am giving thanks for this Ramadan. And though I’m not fasting because I am expecting an early birthday present on December 27th, I still feel a deeply spiritual sense of peace. I am so thankful and lucky to be able to witness the little moments in my children’s lives that no one else, save perhaps my husband, will. Alhumdillah motherhood is a blessing and we’ve seen paradise.
And below is inspiration from my first born, also featured in the picture above.
Hannah
You exited through a narrow passage
Shattering my heart into a million pieces
The feel of your curls against my chin
Your small hand resting atop mine
That little voice uttering unbelievably wise words
Expectant eyes anticipating answers
The way you settle into me before sleep
Glues it back together
Ramadan Kareem & JAK,
Christen
