What’s that Obama?
Oy?!
In light of the world coming down around our ears I’ve become hysterical. I’ve gone from crying to laughing and back. So please excuse the following if you find it offensive or insensitive, neither of which is my intent. It’s just at that point where if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry.
Disclaimer: This is purely from my imagination, obviously I do not have access to Obama’s phone!
Obama: Assad, you’ve gone too far this time!
Assad: Obama? It’s 3 a.m., can’t this wait until after breakfast?
Obama: No, it’s been keeping me up, so why should you sleep? Now massacring, displacing, torturing, illegally detaining, drone strikes, lying to international governing bodies, bailouts and wiretapping I’m all for, but chemical weapons? Chemical weapons?! It’s barbaric!
Assad: Right, I’ve been thinking about that, it’s a little too soft huh? Do you have any extra Atomic bombs? (Long pause) Obama?
Obama: Yes.
Assad: I thought you hung up.
Obama: Look, you understand for publicity purposes we have to slap you on the wrist for this, right?
Assad: If you must, but let me give you the coordinates of the rebels or better yet I’ll give you the coordinates of my men and you can send in some of those drones, they’ll be sure to get the rebels then.
Obama: You think this is funny? I am dealing with a media circus over here and frankly your attitude isn’t helping. Between Egypt, Iraq, Snowden, Russia and Afghanistan I haven’t got the time or the resources to deal with you. So handle your business, but be civilized about it for God’s sake man!
Assad: Yes, I think you’re right. I’ll go back to good old fashioned firing squads and mass graves. Then I’ll hold a democratic election and win fair and square.
Obama: That’s a good man. Now you’re making sense. By the way, that baklava was delicious, do you think you could send some more over and maybe some hummus too?
Assad: Ah, my grandmother’s recipe. It’s good huh? The secret is in the honey. Yeah sure hummus and baklava, now the coordinates are: Anything that screws over the people by avoid justice at all costs.
Obama: No promises, but I’ll see what I can do.
Assad: Alright, give my love to the wife and kids. See you in Aspen!
Obama: Will do, hugs and kisses. Sweet dreams!
For better or worse this is the state of the world. Power-hungry criminals control policy and will lie, cheat, and steal from anyone, including their own people, to keep their power. We find this abhorrent and yet support Israel?
U.S. foreign policy is schizophrenic at best. If death must occur, it must. But in a case such as this, where anything less than an annihilation of Assad and his forces would do little to make matters better and may in fact make them worse, the question is what’s the point? Ego? Pride? Moral superiority complex? Show? All of the above?
Babies shouldn’t die the way they are dying in Syria. A small coffin is incomprehensible to the human brain, especially a mother’s brain. However, there is no justified end to a “limited strike.” Even though I see my babies in the gruesome pictures coming out of Syria and mourn the loss of lives that could have been, I must use my head as I hope someone in a policy-making position may and say enough. Enough.
JAK & All the Best,
Christen
